I'm Johnny 5 – Ask Me Anything

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  • #44880
    Avatar photoRay
    Participant

    Johnny, if forced, Dunkin’ or Krispy?

    #44881
    Avatar photoEli
    Participant

    Have you been to any other donut shops in Chengdu?

    There is a bakery on my street Yulin XiLu(玉林西路)  that sells pretty good pastries. It is run by a Portuguese baker.

    #44883
    Avatar photoChris Ziich
    Moderator

    lol this is awesome.

    Peanut Butter Captain Crunch donut with Skippy peanut butter, chocolate mousse and cereal topping.

    This sounds heavenly.

    Where’s that glazed chocolate cake donut that you promised me?

    #44887
    Avatar photoCharlie
    Keymaster

    The best donuts on earth? I think the best donuts are the ones that hold a nostalgia for the individual, for me, maybe Ron’s donuts in Las Vegas, they are the quintessential american donut shop run by an old asian couple. The donuts are simple, none of these crazy fusion flavors like Voodoo (in Portland) has. Just donuts, done right. I like the apple fritter, and the cinnamon twist. I hope that my shop becomes that for some of the customers who have had their first donut with me. One of my favorite things about having this shop is standing over the counter, eating hot donuts fresh from the frier and talking with whoever is in front of me. Every one is equal when the walk through the door, we all want one thing. Something sweet to escape to for a moment.

    Voodoo Donuts is insane, I suggest anyone who visits Portland check that place out. Here’s their menu, and this isn’t even close to complete, they are always adding new things. What’s interesting about that place is much of a culture it is in the city, there are lines there all the time and it’s a well-loved local spot. Great city for food.

    I will look up Ron’s Donuts next time I’m in Vegas. Found it on Yelp here.

    The response has been absolutely humbling, locals have totally embraced what we are doing here. Foreigners love having another piece of home in Chengdu.

    Great to hear that.

    Ever heard of a rapper named Jelly Donut? He came to prominence in Oakland California at an event called Tourettes Without Regrets, where he would battle thugged out Oakland rappers in a jelly donut suit with white tights on.

    #44907
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    Imagine your wife/girlfriend changing bodies with your own mother. You have to fuck one to get them back to normal. Would you choose your mother’s body with your girlfriend’s mind? Or your girlfriend’s body who is now your mother?

    A serious question like this deserves a serious answer. I want to start by thanking you Vincent for bringing up an issue as divisive and important as this one. I have spent many hours pondering a way to approach this sensitive matter with the respect it deserves. I am sure this must be something you may actually be experiencing now and for that I do not envy you. I can’t imagine how someone could just think up a hypothetical scenario so specific without having gone through something similar.

    I’m getting ahead of myself, so lets start at the beginning. In order answer your question I think you need to know more about my mother. Her name is Susan, she was born on August, 5th 1955 to parents Mary O. and Allen. As the youngest of 5 children she was artistic and creative from the second she opened her eyes for the first time. They moved around a lot during her childhood, throughout the south, Bogalusa Louisiana, eventually settling in the Pacific Northwest. You see my grandfather Allen, or Papa as we called him was a chemical engineer for a pulp and paper mill. After fighting in 2 wars he returned, graduated and went to work to raise his new family. My mother spent her formative years in singing, dancing and performing. She finished high school and enrolled in the University of Washington. The majority of the family being originally from Oregon City, Oregon are Oregon State Alumni but my mother was different. She took every class possible short of math and science which she never had much interest in and stopped just short of graduating with a music major. She had grown tired of the droll of university and was looking to make it big in the entertainment industry a dream that would continue for many years after my birth. She is smart, focused and driven to this day however she never made it to broadway.  I was born when she was 31 and my sister 4 years later. As a child I couldn’t appreciate her quick wit and show stopping personality. I was always so embarrassed when she would talk to strangers in the check out lines or sing at a show I was forced to attend. Things I now appreciate and miss so much in our distance from one another. Strange to think that now it’s me who is talking to strangers, always in front of an audience of customers; now I’m the one dreaming of a TV cooking show in China. Funny how age changes us, as time passes it distills down all things we feel are the most important to those that actually are. When I left to China to start this new chapter in my life, I didn’t fear the friends I may lose touch with or the culture shock of a new country. I was so scared someone I loved back home would get sick, that something out of my control would happen and I would be so far away I would be unable to, at the very least, console and help rebuild. Just as I feared my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer two months ago, I am so thankful we have now since had a successful surgery and she is cancer free. Regardless of the final result I was reminded of our own finality, such an important reminder in this fragile time.

    Considering the fact I am currently without a wife or girlfriend I feel I should list out some of the characteristics I would look for in one. Perhaps my feeling on the institution of marriage if time allows.

    True love is the souls recognition of its counterpoint in another. I don’t know, in hindsight, if I have ever achieved such a thing.  I have been in many relationships, some spanning years however we always end up growing tired, restless and eventually growing apart. I would be a fool to suggest that I played no part in the decline of my past unions.

    If I could list the characteristics of my “perfect girl” I would want her to be independent, strong willed and creative. Passionate would be nice as well, perhaps talented in one way or another, someone always willing to get up and go but also satisfied watching a movie at home. She has to drink but I would hope she wouldn’t smoke. I think I would benefit from someone who could mellow me out a bit, help me find my calm. Even if I found a girl with all of these traits I am afraid I couldn’t see her in my current headspace. I guess I’m not ready to settle down right now, as I near 30 i wonder if I will be Chengdu’s most eligible bachelor forever. If I don’t settle down soon it isn’t all bad to be a playboy for a bit longer is it?

    Anyway I’m sure I answered your question somewhere in there, that was a pretty long response. Thanks for asking! Sorry for the slow reply, let’s keep this thing going!

    #44908
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    lol this is awesome.

    Peanut Butter Captain Crunch donut with Skippy peanut butter, chocolate mousse and cereal topping.

    This sounds heavenly. Where’s that glazed chocolate cake donut that you promised me?

    We made chocolate cake donuts before the new year, they will be back next week! I’ve been busy working on milkshakes and fresh juice.

    #44909
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    Have you been to any other donut shops in Chengdu? There is a bakery on my street Yulin XiLu(玉林西路) that sells pretty good pastries. It is run by a Portuguese baker.

    I will check it out, we have a fantastic selection of authentic french pastries every day. They are made by my friend Florian fresh each morning.

    I have been to Lozzi and Crazy Donuts they were both terrible. I kept thinking if they weren’t called donut shops, if instead they were just called “ring biscuit shops with soy glaze” that maybe I would have liked them more.

    #44910
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    Johnny, if forced, Dunkin’ or Krispy?

    Dunkin’ if they are cold and only if its in Boston. Krispy Creme anywhere if they are hot.

    #44912
    Avatar photoEli
    Participant

    Yea, Lozzi is pretty garbage.

    The bakery in my neighborhood is small, but has pretty good quality. I have not tried their donut (they only have one kind) but their croissants and puff pastries are pretty good.

    Their name is Lusitana, and they are located at 成都玉林西路165号附1号。(8339 6863).

     

    #44913
    Avatar photoVincent
    Participant

    A serious question like this deserves a serious answer.

    Johnny, you are the first person ever that somehow managed to give me a perfectly acceptable answer that didn’t actually include a concrete choice. I enjoyed reading that. I got scared for a second there but I’m glad your mom turned out fine. I’m sure she’s a sweetheart.

    I’ll be dropping in to try some of your donuts this week.

    Actually I think we might have randomly run into eachother in the Poly elevator a few days ago. I was the secretly bald tall guy next to you. You said you were hoping to be the tallest one that ride. Not even sure if that was you, I just saw some pics on CL Places and it does look like it. Who knows.

    Great thread!

    #44914
    Avatar photoBrendan
    Moderator

    I am going to repost my ‘Reddit AMA styled’ question, as it appears to have gone AWOL…

    My question, a very serious consideration for any self respecting bachelor/donut maker is;

    How many donuts can you hang on your dick?

    I was initially thinking ring donuts (is there a standard gage of acceptable donut depth/rise?), but seeing as it’s your donut shop I guess you get to be creative.

    #44916
    Avatar photoBrendan
    Moderator

    Ever heard of a rapper named Jelly Donut?

    ‘You make the DJ skip…’

    Funniest shit ever.

    #44920
    Avatar photoMaz
    Participant

    This post is fast becoming legendary! ~

    #44921
    Avatar photoPk_c
    Participant

    I have no questions but I have answers , and my very special psychic abilities to see in the future indicate me that a Frenchman is gonna eat some donuts in your shop sometimes this week end. He is snobbish ( French ) and expect your donuts to taste like heaven , so he will be merciless with them.

    Be prepared.

    #44929
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    I am going to repost my ‘Reddit AMA styled’ question, as it appears to have gone AWOL… My question, a very serious consideration for any self respecting bachelor/donut maker is; How many donuts can you hang on your dick? I was initially thinking ring donuts (is there a standard gage of acceptable donut depth/rise?), but seeing as it’s your donut shop I guess you get to be creative.

    I answered this question before it went missing. I said I don’t know because I can’t find a cutter large enough for the center ring. They just won’t fit…

    #44931
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    first, thanks for helping me with my donut cravings recently! loved every bite. 1. Are you open to customer suggestions for donut flavors or experiments? Like Sriracha peanut butter donut, alcohol flavored donuts (mimosas, beer, mojito, etc,.) 2. Open to collaborating with other businesses and organizations for future awesome events? 3. Which donut is most underrated in your shop? Overrated? 4. Would you rather be an apple or a banana? And why?

    Sorry for taking so long to answer this question, it sort of got lost in the fray.

    I am always open to suggestions, liquor flavored donuts are on the roadmap for sure, I would love to do something and pair it with a shot that I would put in the center. The problem is it has to be shelf stable and not refrigerated, I am limited a lot by this.

    I’m always open to collaboration and would love to do more events, I was talking today about hosting a homeschool class on donut decoration.

    Under rated donut would probably have to be the blueberry filled, the darker filling makes it look less appealing I guess but it is delicious.

    The most over rated I guess i would have to pick the Boston or the S’mores. They are both really good but people who buy them have a hard time trying other things after, they just get stuck.

    I would rather be a banana, outside tough, inside sweet if you put me near other fruits I ripen them faster and I taste great dipped in anything sweet. and its phallic…

    #44933
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    I have no questions but I have answers , and my very special psychic abilities to see in the future indicate me that a Frenchman is gonna eat some donuts in your shop sometimes this week end. He is snobbish ( French ) and expect your donuts to taste like heaven , so he will be merciless with them. Be prepared.

    I am cautiously optimistic to hear this frenchman’s response to my American donuts (I have been told by the my French friends that all culinary creations in America are inferior to their French counterparts.

    See you soon!

    #44934
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    Johnny5 wrote:
    A serious question like this deserves a serious answer.

    Johnny, you are the first person ever that somehow managed to give me a perfectly acceptable answer that didn’t actually include a concrete choice. I enjoyed reading that. I got scared for a second there but I’m glad your mom turned out fine. I’m sure she’s a sweetheart. I’ll be dropping in to try some of your donuts this week. Actually I think we might have randomly run into eachother in the Poly elevator a few days ago. I was the secretly bald tall guy next to you. You said you were hoping to be the tallest one that ride. Not even sure if that was you, I just saw some pics on CL Places and it does look like it. Who knows. Great thread!

    We were in the elevator together! Awesome!

    #44936
    Avatar photoJohnny5
    Participant

    Yea, Lozzi is pretty garbage. The bakery in my neighborhood is small, but has pretty good quality. I have not tried their donut (they only have one kind) but their croissants and puff pastries are pretty good. Their name is Lusitana, and they are located at 成都玉林西路165号附1号。(8339 6863).

    Thanks I’ll check it out.

    #44946
    Avatar photoRay
    Participant

    Johnny5, sensational AMA.

    I’ve heard that in certain cities one can eat very well from donut shop dumpsters. Urban myth? With this in mind:

    a)where is your dumpster located?
    b)is your dumpster clearly labelled?
    c)what time should I be raiding this dumpster?

    No seriously, I’m curious about how you plan how much to make (basically how do you anticipate demand)? Does it differ on the weekend? Do you eat the unsold donuts? Do you even have unsold donuts? Not hustling for half price semi-fresh donuts, just curious. I notice that some bakeries offer discounts for yesterday’s stuff. What’s your policy on this practice? is it crass to do this?

    Thanks.

Viewing 20 posts - 21 through 40 (of 66 total)
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