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I’ve been invited to a wedding between a German guy and a Chinese girl. I understand that giving money is the norm in China, and the concept is not foreign to me as it is how weddings are in Japan, where I live. However, I’m not sure how much I should give. Is there a standard rate? I’m not related to either the bride or groom, they are just friends.
It depends on:
- How much money you make
- How important your relationship with the bride/groom is
- How traditional they are
- How much you feel like donating
There is no standard or set amount really, but I would say a reasonable base is 300rmb. I’ll assume that someone who isn’t a pretty close friend wouldn’t invite you to their wedding.
Much appreciated. I make a good bit, but I’m also paying to go to China for the wedding, so I’ll probably give them 350 or 400.
Cheaper than Japan where I’d be paying 1500! (30,000 yen).
I know in Beijing it is at least 1000 Yuan among the middle class. Although personally I have not been to a wedding in China, I know my ex gf had to pay this amount twice for attending wedding ceremonies of coworkers and she wasn’t part of the rich upper class in Beijing. So I guess it also depends where the wedding takes place. I can imagine you could be considered a miser in major cities like Beijing or Shanghai by just giving 300 Rmb.
Traditionally you should be giving a “paired” amount, 400, 600, 800 etc. IE the multiple of hundreds should be an even number to represent the joining of the marriage couple.
400 is not considered a bad number in this instance (whereas traditionally the 4 symbolizes 死).
that’s interesting here in Japan, it’s the exact opposite – not supposed to give even numbers as they can be split in two, which is a bad omen.
But of course I’ll go the Chinese way 🙂
My friends live in Beijing, so I’m thinking that 1000 is probably the way to go.
888 actually is a great number, I pensonally feel it is better than 1000, 8 means fortune in tradition, the couple would probably get shocked and appreciated to receive the red envelop with this awesome number, they won’t care the lost 122 yuan which makes up of 1000
According to the facts you provided, I would say 600RMB would be appropriate. Why do I know it? Cause I’m Chinese, haha
the couple would probably get shocked and appreciated to receive the red envelop with this awesome number
That’s a ringing endorsement for 888 rmb
My Chinese GF is saying that 400 is Ok in Chengdu (for someone you are not super close with). Also need to consider your salary; if people know you’re raking in the big coin they expect more. She also mentioned that (fortunately for us) our lowainess is a license to be a little cheap 🙂
Actually the wedding is in Guangzhou, but as I had just created an account here, I figured I may as well ask here since I’m not a member of any Guangzhou forums :)Thanks to everyone for the information. It would be a little easier if it wasn’t all over the place! But I’m guessing that this is a dilemma faced by everyone going to a wedding, and not just me.Are there any other things I should be careful of besides the even numbers? For example, in Japan, you have to use crisp bills, fresh from the bank. Anything like that?
I don’t think the bills need to be crisp, (even the crispest Maos aren’t as crisp as Japanese 10k yen bills). Just try to not give any that have tears, tape, or blood on them.
Make sure they’re in a red envelope with your name and a brief wedding message written on it. Try to enjoy the baijiu.
Maybe I should just give them 10,000 yen. It will confuse the people who receive it, and they can use it next time they come to visit Japan!
(I’m not actually going to do that).
What about clothes for weddings? Should I wear a suit and tie?
For example, in Japan, you have to use crisp bills, fresh from the bank. Anything like that?
Same here, however in practice it can be difficult to find crisp new bills even from the bank. As Chris already pointed out, just make sure the bills don’t have tears, writing on, etc.
What about clothes for weddings? Should I wear a suit and tie?
Maybe Guangzhou is different, but in Chengdu if you aren’t part of the ceremony then people dress casually. I usually go smart casual. I feel bad if I show up to someones wedding in jeans and a t-shirt, but feel out of place if suited and booted.
I went to a wedding in the boondocks of Canada after a few years in Japan. I had never been to a wedding in Canada, but had been to about 10 in the few years I was in Japan. Wedding = suit here. I got to the venue (it was at a hotel), put on my suit, and went down to the chapel, and not only was it not a suit and tie deal, it was a cowboy theme (my friend neglected to mention that). People wearing cowboy hats and shooting off cap guns etc.
I took off my tie.
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