Have a reputation of a brutal killer. Buy thieving insurance in your local agency, they would kill the thief who would make them pay
Not expensive either Have couple poisonous snakes on a balcony as pets, though it has side effects when a repairmen needs to do stuff
You picked a good thread to make a joke out of, I hope you wont ever get robbed in your home while sleeping at night,if it should then you might see why there was a serious thread started on this topic.
Ive seen so many people trying to be funny here, most succeed but you are just a fail…
Daniel