A Chengdu Love Story?

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    Avatar photoSlavsky

    Let me share some kind of relations I had within my first 3 months in China.

    Have met a girl. Started dating, mainly communicating through translating software. I have heard that it may take month in order to kiss for the first time and more than a year to have sex. It took me 3 dates to get everything. At one point I found out that she has a boyfriend. When I asked her, she replied that she wants to break up with him, since they are fighting every day.

    Fine, we kept dating. Now some people tell me that she has other boyfriend, though the girl does not admit it. I don`t mind of breaking up, but why instead of saying this she prefers to avoid of communicating?

    Apart from that I`d like to know: does it mean in China that a girl is so easily available, that she is kind of slut (sorry, if it word negatively affects anyone). What could be the explanation for such a strange behavior?


    Avatar photoCharlie

    A lot is said about the “dating standards” of China, like you say about it taking time to build trust and intimacy. But China today is not like China even 5 years ago, more and more young people in China are progressive and want to live the same kind of life as Westerners. This includes the music they listen to, the movies they watch, the clothes they wear, and the sex they have. Spend enough time in China and you will meet all types of women, there’s a lot of variation. I guess that’s part of the beauty of China being such a big country that’s developing very quickly — it’s hard to guess what you’re going to get, especially in a city like Chengdu. If you were in a smaller city (like Zigong or Mianyang), it’d be less likely that you’d run into the kind of woman that you met. In Shanghai and Beijing, they are even more common.

    Avatar photoYan

    ‘Love’ is personal, everybody has fetish. It sounds you’re going to have a lot experience in this city. have fun and good luck.

    Avatar photoChris Ziich

    I’ve encountered this type of situation many times in the West…

    Avatar photoFederico

    You can encounter in this situation everywhere in the world!

    Maybe you are only “unlucky”, in China you can find many beautiful girls that think about family or serious relationship…

    Avatar photoSlavsky

    Thank you guys for sharing 🙂

    Avatar photoshinichi

    This situation in any country will appear.

    Avatar photoZXL

    This sounds so farmiliar. I have two guy friends here in Shanghai have both come across the exact same situation like you do 🙂

    One is English and one is Swedish. All met their Chinese girlfriends thru internet and started to communicate with her sort-of broken English. And both guys later found out that they actually had a boyfriend when they started to date. Then both girls acclaimed that they were fighting everyday, blahblahblah.

    Well, I’m sorry but it just sounds such a cliche to me. Although I’m Chinese myself, it’s true that there’re certain types of Chinese girls that are easily to get, however, I think this does happen in every country just not as much as in China.

    Avatar photoclark


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    Avatar photoRay

    Man, she has a Plan B, it’s very common here and I feel for you. i’ve been there too. Chinese girls are often very practical 🙁

    Avatar photoBecca.B

    Love is simple,wont be complicated,Good luck!

    Avatar photodvcd

    Hi Slavsky,
    I am a Chinese. To me, this story has nothing related to love.
    Many girls born after 1970s are practical. They wanna have everything but they don’t want to take responsibility and be honest.
    They want a foreigner like you to have all the joy west kind of life can give her. Also they want a Chinese man (a Chinese candidate) to provide her the apartment and the car.
    So they get both the west benefit, and the east benefit. But east benefit put a women’s virtuous at an important position. So to get both, they will lie.
    About the story they are fighting their current Chinese boyfriend, do you believe it? Also you mentioned that, “in China that a girl is so easily available, that she is kind of slut” To a foreigner, they are, but to a Chinese boy, they may not show their you know, eager for sex, they will play hard to get for sure. Normally for a Chinese boy, a girl is not so easily available. They have to have a certain economic base to get her.
    That’s why I don’t like some kind of Chinese girl today.

    Avatar photoDana Garber

    …a virtual love story. Pretty cool. I want one.

    Avatar photoAlexander

    Charlie you missed another  city that you can find <span style=”background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; text-align: justify;”>lot of variation</span>: ChongQing

    In a more traditional thought, good girls shouldn’t go to the bar or night club(it may too <span style=”background-color: #ffffff; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 16px;”>male chauvinism</span>). But this is never exist in china any more. Influences are too strong from outside. Just like a virus can’t be cure, people can’t fight the temptation and lost in the confusion.

    In the procedure of culture mixing, Chinese culture literally lose in the young generation.

    An age of restlessness and chaos minds.

    Well, you can also be optimistic about those kind girls who at lest can easily to move on to next one when you dump them.

    But sure there are much more nice Chinese girls, but it will be hard if you hope to find them in a night club at 5 am.

    Sometime I wonder if Japanese girls keep a more traditional way of their suppose to be. But globalization really gives people in every place a big test.

    Avatar photolinka999

    Just for sex .  she already give, why ask something elase she don’t have.

    A good girl will want something from a man. If you can’t find out  her  means you don’t have that  things she want .

     if she feel you don’t have  things she want, she will trying to avoide meet you, this is why you always can’t meet her.

    This is simple.

    Avatar photolinka999

    Many Chinese girls came to a foreigner man for illusion of  life. But love is not about illusion it is more about soul, same soul will meet each other, ask youself those girls you sleep with , why at first moment you decided stay with her? by her face or by her body or by her heart or by no reason just nothing to do.Most of time we are calling sex story is love story.

    Avatar photoJerryS

    I read too many Fabio books….

    Avatar photoBecca.B

    linka,good point:)

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