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This one worked better than coffee.
Most of you are not as clumsy or forgetful as I. Without having met the vast majority of Chengdu’s total population (expat and local) I can state with confidence that my inability to remember where I left my keys is nearly unparalleled. I have proof.
Last Wednesday I solved my bike-theft incident by ordering a very nice fixed gear from the Natooke Bike Shop. I also had a few beers and a bullshit session, which proved highly entertaining.
Thursday afternoon I went to the ATM in my bank just below my office. I withdrew a few thousand worth of Chairmans. In the US they’d be called Benjamins, and they’d probably be green instead of pink.
I went to the bike shop and picked up the 32 odd components that had become my bicycle, now affectionately named Felix. The day had proved uneventful. I went to work, things were crazy busy, and I found out I’d have to go to Chongqing on Friday morning for a dinner Friday evening with an American client. I bought my tickets and paid in cash.
Friday morning before work I rode Felix to the office and picked up my suit jacket. It wasn’t until I arrived in Chongqing that I realized I should have probably brought pants and shoes as well. So now I’m in Chongqing with a shirt and suit, blue jeans and bright red Vans. This was not going to go over well on Saturday when the CEO showed up for a big lunch meeting.
I took the subway straight to the cheapest department store in Chongqing that I thought might still have size 44 shoes. I picked out pants and a pair of shoes and ran over to the payment processing counter. I had enough cash for the shoes and pants, but I wanted to pay with my card. That’s when I realized I didn’t have it with me.
Then, for about two minutes, I freaked out. I did it quietly, but I freaked out. Where did I leave it? Did I leave it in the ATM? Was there a guy behind me who took every last Chairman from my China Industrial account? Was it the guy who stole my bike? How did he find me? How the hell could I have let this happen?
For the uninitiated, even though you are required to enter your pin countless times to use a Chinese ATM, once you’ve entered it to take out cash you can continually remove money until you hit the daily limit, which is always defaulted very high.
I hurriedly walked across the street to the China Industrial Bank and tried to grab a number. But to get a number at that bank branch you needed either your Bank Card (missing) or your Chinese ID Card (although people often call me “中国同”, I have yet to receive an ID Card or secret decoder ring). I asked for help manually producing a number to wait in line, but was told I could only use one of the two forms of ID that I could not produce. It wouldn’t have mattered much anyway, as about 90% of Chongqing’s population of 32 million was queued in front of me. “You are #B34509824. There are 29,000,000 people waiting in front of you. Have a nice day.”
I’ve heard there are actually people you can pay to wait in hospital and bank lines for you while you go shopping or get a manicure, or take a one-week trip to Inner Mongolia. Increasingly, time is money in China.
The people at the understaffed customer service desk breathed a collective sigh of relief when they finally learned my missing bank card was from a Chengdu branch and therefore not their problem. They told me to call the national customer service desk and commenced ignoring me. I couldn’t really blame them. I was being a pain in the ass.
I tried the national customer service desk but was put on endless hold. Then I had a bright idea. I called information in Chengdu and got the number for the actual bank branch where I lost the card. I called that number and was put on a new type of hold: They tell you to please hold and the next available rep will help you, then after less than two minutes of elevator music, the call cuts off right in the middle of a recorded voice assuring you that “Your call is import…”
So I kept dialing, over and over, while I tried to think of a new approach.
Finally I gave up. Since it was Friday and offices were open, I called my friend Superman in HR and begged him to help me sort it out. He went downstairs to the bank branch and found a number that would actually be answered so I could call and check on my card.
I still had to call the national center too, but Superman told me which buttons to press to reach a human and how to explain my card was opened with my passport so yes, they could look up my account info without my nonexistent Chinese ID card. Eventually, after about 40 calls to the bank branch and another five or six to the national customer torture center, it was resolved with two phone calls. My balance had remained un-abused and my card was in the hands of the branch manager. Superman’s real English name is Richard, but I changed it to reflect the fact that his Chinese name has the “super” character in it and he can do the impossible.
Like sort out how to wade through China Industrial’s customer service system.
My Chinese name is 河边 (Riverside)，but he’s started calling me Forgetful for obvious reasons.
Your call is Import…..
Quote:I think at one time or another we have all met the ATM issue.I’ve been through something similar to this as well, although in my case it was fortunately just a misplaced card which I later found.
Sometimes the processes for fixing these kind of problems can be infuriatingly nonsensical. I lost my passport a few years ago and when I went to the US Consulate to have it replaced, they refused to let me in, or even to let me speak to an American (they gave me the number of an American inside which I called repeatedly from outside, who never answered). What I ended up having to do was getting a document from the PSB stating that my passport had officially been lost. Except I had to circle between 3-4 different PSBs just to get the document because they were all too lazy to do it themselves (each PSB insisted that another location was the one that I had to be at, until I started re-visiting the same PSBs again).
China can be infuriating. I’m glad your story ended with a happy ending though.
Lost ATM? Hell, due to moving between provinces, cities, districts I’ve had to open nearly half a dozen individual bank accounts. I’d be happy to lose some cards. I almost felt superstitious and left a knock on wood remark then remembered my ATM card I actually use anymore has long since been bled dry.
Best part was dealing with Bank of China and trying to have my account moved from Inner Mongolia to Beijing. At last after several visits and many a long line waited in I was told I’d have to take the 12 hour slow sleeper train to the original branch in I.M. to change it.
Confession time: I used to make ATM’s in Beijing between 1999 and 2003. I’ve also probably had every type of experience one can have with these as Chinese banks learned(?) how to use them. The book is forming in my head…..
But imagine the concept of a labour saving device intruding on the lives of some of the biggest employers in China. Right from the start everything was over-complicated and only got worse. Why simplify anything when people can easily wait, or employ someone to do that for you while you go on vacation…? I really do sympathise…. Ohhhh – you think being a customer helps????
I also recall trying to use my BOC card in Kunming – no joy – my branch of BOC was in Beijing of course!!!
However the best trick which got me a few times in those days was the external glass shutter which closed off the entire front panel of the machine – you needed to use the bank card to open the shutter first, then put it in another slot to start your transaction….. But if you are too slow deciphering the cash withdrawal procedure, that external screen comes down and locks you out……. No money, -20 Centigrade, your driver has gone home, miles from anywhere in a foreign city…..that is my definition of stress…!!!! 😀 Eventually I found out that any magnetic card would open these damned shutters, but the first time is forever imprinted on my memory…
Aloha from Hawaii!
I lived in Guangzhou for five years–2001-2006. Near the end of my run I too lost my not just my bankcard but my wallet and passport. It was a Saturday. I went to my branch and explained. Unbelievably the teller helping me advanced me 50 RMB of his own money, until I could get home to my stash (I had walked to my branch from the point of realizing I didn’t have my card any more–about 2 miles). He advised me to return on Sunday, the ass.t mgr would be in.
On Sunday the mngr was there, but because I had no ID she wouldn’t help me. I carefully explained that they had about 4 photocopies of my ID (passport) on file because I received numerous Western Union wires there in the recent past. She went to the filing cabinet, sure enough, I could see she was perusing them with her back to me. After what was about a full 2-3 minutes, she came over, talked to a teller, who then gave me a piece of paper and a pen “write your signature 3 times”. I did. The mngr then took the paper and examined the signatures very carefully. She smiled then told the teller to take care of me. Within 15 minutes he opened a new account, transferred my existing money in the old account over (I recall well over 40,000 RMB) and then gave me a shiny new card! I quickly took out 10,000 RMB, gave the employee 100 RMB for the 50 RMB he’d given me (with some polite refusal of course!) then left a very happy and satisfied customer.
Aloha from Hawaii!
I lived in Guangzhou for five years–2001-2006. Near the end of my run I too lost my not just my bankcard but my wallet and passport. It was a Saturday. I went to my branch and explained. Unbelievably the teller helping me advanced me 50 RMB of his own money, until I could get home to my stash (I had walked to my branch from the point of realizing I didn’t have my card any more–about 2 miles). He advised me to return on Sunday, the ass.t mgr would be in.
On Sunday the mngr was there, but because I had no ID she wouldn’t help me. I carefully explained that they had about 4 photocopies of my ID (passport) on file because I received numerous Western Union wires there in the recent past. She went to the filing cabinet, sure enough, I could see she was perusing them with her back to me. After what was about a full 2-3 minutes, she came over, talked to a teller, who then gave me a piece of paper and a pen “write your signature 3 times”. I did. The mngr then took the paper and examined the signatures very carefully. She smiled then told the teller to take care of me. Within 15 minutes he opened a new account, transferred my existing money in the old account over (I recall well over 40,000 RMB) and then gave me a shiny new card! I quickly took out 10,000 RMB, gave the employee 100 RMB for the 50 RMB he’d given me (with some polite refusal of course!) then left a very happy and satisfied customer.
Mike – You missed out this part of the story 😉
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