Home›Forums›General Discussion›The truth hurts but open and honesty are appreciated
- This topic has 54 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by Chris Ziich.
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May 20, 2012 at 4:45 am #8814Lucy 92Member
It is just me or most of the time guys move on faster than girls?
Why?
Will you dump a girl you went out with for 2 weeks just because you met someone more charming and beautiful?
and will you kiss another girl in front of the girl u used to date right after you told her he’s sorry..?
Sorry if my question is way too boring.
But I do feel a littlt bit confused.
May 20, 2012 at 10:31 am #18923JerrySParticipantMost foreigners are here to get laid like rock stars. When i go out with them, sex is always on their mind. Rarely you will get a dude whos not into sex and knows just what he wants. Having eye candy around is for that, the eye. Nothing beats personality. If you are dating a foreigner whose first language is english, brush up on it (the language).
Personally most men are hound dogs. Besides me (prop me up on a peddle stool!). Numbers are def not my game. I am very picky and thats why im still single, and foreva bee! Been hurt once, twice, more times than i can count the hairs behind my hand, whateva. Love is a game. Good luck and god speed, GO TEAM VENTURE! :D.
May 20, 2012 at 10:38 am #18924RayParticipant@ Jerry S: most foreigners here are young enough that they SHOULD be interested only in getting laid. That makes them bad? Dude, the cats under 30 who are getting hitched are the ones i would worry about…Life is short. BTW: Chinese guys can lay on the moves just as smoothly as us foreigners. My ex has an SMS from one: “I have an Audi TT”.
May 20, 2012 at 10:47 am #18926JerrySParticipant@Ray, game is played both ways. Men for sex then roll over and sleep. Women wants ‘Cha-ching.’
Why are you worried about dudes who get hitched under 30? I have nothing against this (in any country), as long as its consensual with both parties agreeing to it.
But yea life is short, better than having a naggin chick monitoring you. Unless she is cool. Or if he is cool 😉
May 20, 2012 at 11:44 am #18927RayParticipantLet me explain: the methods that the guys here use are often sleazy/lame/pathetic/uninspired and i sure don’t dig being in a bar full of horny frat boys. But they’re just obeying their biological instinct (wow big words!) i have a friend here (sorry, gotta respect his anonymity) who does exceedingly well with the womens (the womens find him dangerously attractive). he’s not a bad guy. doesn’t lie to the womens, it’s just that he’s young and has the advantage of being exotic here. Good luck to him!
Disclaimer: the “womens” is of course terrible grammar, but i dig the expression…
@Lucy: cheer up! There are many trees in the forest, flowers in the field, items in the supermarket etc…May 20, 2012 at 12:11 pm #18929JerrySParticipantDitto that Ray. There are sleeze balls (Shamrock night time for example), then there are Men. I known many players who been with more than 100 women. Yet the difference between frat boys and players are that they (players) do not see it as ‘game’ rather they are genuine.
What do i mean with genuine? Well, dating to find their ‘one’ is such a cumbersome act. Always trial and error. It can take many years and different venues (not bar scene, but others like match.com and so on). The first thing they tell me is… Be truthful and respect women (dont put the punani on the pedestal). Thusly, do not try to make women jealous. Esp in the case with Lucy. That is just plain wrong and evil.
What is genuine? Here is an example, my former co-worker, a shaved clean tall Jamaican man (who 150% fits the bill of tall dark and handsome) always lets out his heart. When we first interacted, he asked me about my personal life (if i had a woman and i was totally creeped out by this…). Then he went to talk about how this one girl in HS broke his heart. He thought she was the one. He had a tear in his eye when he told me about her (not too indepth details). So i thought it is odd for him to tell a complete stranger (my very first day) about a chick that dumped him 17 years ago. But to be honest, he was not creepy at all, he was very truthful about what he said. Then he talked about how this chick he was dating now could be ‘it.’ 400+ he has been with, and only one he thinks about daily. And his words were always make a women feel like she is a queen and if you leave her, always be on good terms (booty call for future heh). Not sure if that story fits the bill here or makes sense 🙂
Damn.. I miss him, he always had great advice about the ladies… And about life in general… He also said ‘get out of your comfort zone and go talk to women’ since im a shy dude around women.. Not men..hmmm heh. Ok thats enough, cheer up Lucy 🙂
May 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm #18930RayParticipantJerry S my man: if you ever need a wing man pull my coat and i’m down for it. I have all the essential qualities of a wing man:
1. I look so bad that in comparison any man looks good (even beer goggles don’t improve me)
2.I follow the unbreakable, golden rule of any wing man: never cut your buddy’s lunch (or mow his lawn) even when presented with the opportunity. Never, ever.
3.My encouragement and support is inexhaustable: “Buddy, you’re too good for her!” / “That chick over there is totally giving you the eye, and i don’t mean the fish-eye” / “you are MONEY!! You are so money and you just don’t realize it!” (yeah i took that from “Swingers”, second best movie ever made)
May 20, 2012 at 1:56 pm #18931Lucy 92MemberThnx,Ray and Jerry,
I wish i were a boy… lol
May 20, 2012 at 2:41 pm #18932Chris ZiichModerator@Ray and Jerry: lol! good stuff
@Lucy: you can play the game like a boy can. Society might give girls that mess around a bad rap, but it’s a silly double standard. Don’t get upset over guys that aren’t worth your time. Spend time doing things that make you feel happy and healthy. Then the real men will come lining up for you to choose. Test them out and ditch the ones that are not up to your standards. Set the bar high.
May 20, 2012 at 3:03 pm #18933Lucy 92MemberThnx for ur advice:)
But I can’t risk my reputation.Cuz that’s everything for a girl in China. But yes, i gonna spend time doing things that make me feel happy and healthy (which are language learning,roller blading,dancing,singing, billiard,watching TV and movies, bowling,haha)
May 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm #18934linka999ParticipantThis is jungle, strong girl win. Be strong .
May 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm #18935Rick in ChinaParticipantQuote:It is just me or most of the time guys move on faster than girls?Why?
The dumper moves on (or has already) faster than the dumpee in most cases.
Quote:Will you dump a girl you went out with for 2 weeks just because you met someone more charming and beautiful?Going out for 2 weeks isn’t really ‘going out’, you should probably not presume any commitment in such a short time, after all, you hardly know the person.
Quote:and will you kiss another girl in front of the girl u used to date right after you told her he’s sorry..?Intentionally would just be an asshole move, but unintentionally, it happens.
May 21, 2012 at 12:54 am #18936JerrySParticipant@ Ray, def with the wingman. But i feel you will do better than me. Was with a crew last night, almost all foreigners in my click walked away with a chick (4 dudes, one had his girl with him so he didnot count). Since i am of azn decent, i walked away with two hands (a few numbers but meh).
Perks of being a foreigner (white face-ish), is that the girls did not give a damn (the ones who i seen there). They kept eyeballing each foreign male, no matter how ugly, mute or just a prop with a drink in one hand in the corner. I never seen anything like this before (first time out in chengdu clubbing). While me, dancing on stage and having fun.
So waht am i saying? i have no clue, i had 3.5 hours of sleep and all i remember how i worked to get a girls number for a night, while a tall bald clean shaven foreigner (the prop in the corner with a drink looking for prey and i need a new haircut) got the same chicks number in less than 2 min. Funky how being round eyes might help at the local club scene heh.
Oww i saw a few bjj students there, did not expect that. I had a blast last night!! But yea, stay strong Lucy. Open your circle and go meet new people, if logistics allow you to.
May 21, 2012 at 1:37 am #18937VicParticipantjust two weeks? omg!
“earth girls are easy, chinese girls are easier.”
May 21, 2012 at 2:11 am #18939VicParticipant@Lucy, there is always someone “more” charming, “more” beautiful, or “more” aggressive …… if you wanna play the game.
move on! like Chris said above: there are more fish in the pond.
life is short. don’t take things as they come, take control!
May 21, 2012 at 2:19 am #18940JerrySParticipantSaying ‘moving on’ is easy, but the actual act is very hard. If one vested something very dear to another, which in turn will not yield rewards, that will sting for the rest of your life. If i can find the article, it states that being hurt by a former significant other will forever be with you. No matter how many ‘fishes’ are out there.
And in the same article, being hurt (break up, divorce and those alike) will sometime lead to being gay. Wish i can find the article, it was really cool to read, if you been through a break up….
May 21, 2012 at 2:35 am #18941Rick in ChinaParticipantI think you’re taking your ‘heartfelt’ response out of context to the situation. Moving on from a “2 week” thing is a lot different than a significant other!
It’s more likely someone met someone at a bar or on the net, put out, “Sorry, this wont work out” afterwards, then out of simple naivety is left aloof wondering what went wrong….when the answer is equally as simple, you got used. If you don’t want to get used and left confused, don’t drop your heart into a relationship with someone you don’t know at all and put out right away. 😀
May 21, 2012 at 2:44 am #18942JerrySParticipantAww once again i look at thigns differently, meh. My thinking is circular, heh, my mistake.
May 21, 2012 at 2:44 am #18943May 21, 2012 at 2:48 am #18944 -
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