Weird Cultural Differences

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  • #17992
    GAVVIEGAVVIE
    Participant

    Sorry folks,Maybe I got carried away some.This is supposed to be about “Cultural Differences”.

    It seems to me that that family is more important here than back home. My wife eplained to me that her son in law’s parents are also her family.Maybe some comments from Linka?

    #17993
    linka999linka999
    Participant

    haha. me?

    I don’t have any comments, i was busy thinking about some dialogue about date with a girl, although i never have that experience, kind of challenge……….

    don’t put me wrong way, it’s not what you think about!

    Just teaching job 🙂

    #17994
    Rick in ChinaRick in China
    Participant

    @GAVVIE RE: “Son in law’s parents are also her family”

    This isn’t the case where you’re from? I think you need to specify “back home”, because I know lots of western communities where this is also most definitely the case – I also think popular media may indicate a standard here also..look at “Meet the Fockers” for example, they’re “family”, no? They may not be “close” family, but they’re family.

    #17995
    JerrySJerryS
    Participant

    They are considered immediate family (if the thinking of core family solely resides with you), its an Asian custom. Unlike western culture, where you see them as ‘their side,’ Asian culture sees this as bringing various peoples together.

    This custom is also similar with Native Americans. Its the ‘village’ mentality, whereas limited resources, need more people to farm/agriculture ect ect.

    #17996
    RayRay
    Participant

    I think it’s kinda inaccurate to say that family is more important here than back home. I know lotsa friends who have extremely close families in the west. The difference here is that you gotta support your family, since there’s basically no social welfare. I sometimes wonder what’s gonna happen here for some of the foreigners who have gotten hitched with local girls, when one day she announces “my parents are very old, and now they must live with us”. I know for me, that’s a deal -breaker. I don’t wanna inherit someone’s folks; have enough trouble with my own!

    #17997
    Rick in ChinaRick in China
    Participant

    @Ray

    Having the “in-laws” – not both, generally, but when one passes and the other is left alone – live with their child/husband/wife, is pretty common anywhere me thinks. You may say “gotta support your family”, but I think that in western countries when your parents are old, if they’re not wealthy when they retire, you’d do a lot to support them too – it’s that it’s more of a requirement here like you said because of the lack of adequate social welfare. I think in general, when you marry, you inherit your in-laws mate, good luck negotiating that one out 😀

    #17998
    Steeevyo
    Member

    Supermarket checkout:

    While I pack stuff into bags, person behind me checks out my stuff waiting to be processed by the cashier. Like picking it up and inspecting it.

    This happened to me twice here in Chengdu.

    I mean, seriously ….

    #18002
    RayRay
    Participant

    @ Rick: gotta disagree. I would say that in the west most guys, if told that the girls folks didn’t dig him would say “That’s cool. I’m not marrying them”. I’m speaking from experience back home, and her parents dislike of me had no influence on our cool 4 -year relationship. Ok, here’s my pitch:

    Man Seeking Chinese Woman:

    Must be ridiculously hot

    Parents must be deceased (if girl is estranged from them, that’s cool too)

    Ok, let the storm of shit rain down down down

    #18003
    Steeevyo
    Member

    From a personal view it is very hard for me to even imagine a workable relationship.

    I mean there is girls, well educated girls, fluent english speakers, working in good jobs, independent and super smart. But then on the other hand they are living with their parents, then they are on a curfew (in their 20ies mind you).

    I find it very confusing and it kinda freaks me out.

    And what i see around me in many commited relationships between western dude and chinese girl:

    -The parents cant know about it (I know so many like this)

    -The parents dont approve

    -If the parents approve they still control the life on the weekends

    Not to discourage anyone, love is usually stronger than that. But I guess there is a massive cultural gap here. Its not only that family ties are still stronger here it is also that they work in entirely different ways.

    #18008
    RayRay
    Participant

    You get hitched here, you buy a one-bedroom place. Problem solved. The in-laws ask, you say “No, that is NOT a sofa-bed”.

    #18009
    linka999linka999
    Participant

    @ray

    what do you think that foreigner will have to arrtact this super hot and parents already died Chinese girl ?

    What he have?

    handsome face? good character? or sex ability? or humor?or some special things which makes he very different?

    what he have?

    #18010
    Rick in ChinaRick in China
    Participant

    @linka

    A passport.

    (don’t get all riled up, I’m just joking. Sort of.)

    Edit: Whenever I think of the question Linka asked, I think of Too Short,

    “No need to be a player or a superstar

    She ain’t trippin on you she’d rather fuck your car “

    Except replace “car” with passport. 😀

    #18011
    linka999linka999
    Participant

    passport it is depends, somebody may be ok with Chinese passport. only people who want human right very much will want diffrent passport.

    And point also is not because have that passport then will have very good life, it is also depends that person himself.

    #18012
    Rick in ChinaRick in China
    Participant

    Ray, super hot bitches wont get hitched if all you got is a 1-bdr 😉

    #18013
    linka999linka999
    Participant

    This is good topic too, about woman from China, and man from west, any good quility relationship need equal, what you have ,what he have ,what you both can share.

    If want long term play, that’s need equal. I was wondering what the man can provide later,what will make them keep good? woman can grow too, after excitement with this man at the first part, she will learn and know new things, she will grow, then she will ask more…

    then what you can give?

    #18014
    RayRay
    Participant

    Laowai with one bedroom pad = human garbage

    #18015
    Rick in ChinaRick in China
    Participant

    @Linka

    RE: “If want long term play, that’s need equal”

    I agree – generally, esp in China, the guy will continue to earn more money, and the woman will continue to grow older and less desirable? Totally unfair relationship for ‘long term play’!

    #18016
    linka999linka999
    Participant

    This Chinese woman stay with west man will be more and more, nothing wrong with it, actually it is very nice.

    But if talking about relationship, that always will have lot to discuss.

    Laowai with one bedroom pad it’s not human garbage .that is ok!

    But relationship always ask more, more than money things. right?

    #18017
    linka999linka999
    Participant

    @rick, you are not talking about relationship, you are talking about buying goods.:)

    #18018
    Rick in ChinaRick in China
    Participant

    That’s not generally how it works here? Oh, you must be in _the other_ China!

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