Giving Birth in Chengdu: A New Life

Note: This post is the fourth in a series chronicling the adventures of an American having a child in China. If you haven’t been following, you can start at the beginning of the series here.

Just as the first barrage of New year fireworks echoed throughout Chengdu, The Notations transitioned into David Ruffin‘s Heaven Help Us on iTunes and I watched my new born son heave a sigh of relief and squirm a bit deeper into his swaddling. I felt his relief deep in my own bones.

That’s one thing that happens right away when your child is born: you get to read his emotions, because he’s just like you.

Sunrise

In the early hour of Sunday, February 7th, my wife felt the first contractions and we breathed our way through the excitement and (her) pain until the sun rose. All day the contractions came, anywhere from 6 to 10 minutes apart and lasting between 25 and 75 seconds. Contractions can only be described by the woman enduring them — and then only vaguely — but from what I understand, a wave of pain starts around the uterus and spreads across the entire belly, thrums for a bit, then dissipates. The pain increases with each hour and can go on for many hours.

Two friends came over in the evening with food, advice and a Risk board. They gave birth to a baby girl just over a year ago and we’re neighbors, so it was natural that we spend this time together. The contractions went on all night and got real bad around the Devil’s Hour, 3am. Xiao Bai’s eyes rolled with pain and she squeezed my hand, her breathing fierce as my friends bore witness. We walked to the hospital at sunrise, carrying our bags of stuff. An old man jogged passed, grey sweatpants and strong lungs, one glance and he was gone. Birds chirped invisible in the grey morning. A tea house opened its doors. Construction workers with deep country accents and the physique of the arm and hammer filed into the work site.

Arrival at the Hospital

Our first room was in the Old Building of the No. 9 Hospital, because we failed to secure a room of our own in the new building. The Old Building was built in the 1970s and it shows. Door handles slip off if you pull too hard. Walls and floors are never truly clean and the plywood of the nurse’s desks peels and rots in neglected corners. The actual waiting rooms for Mamas had two blue sheets to shield the women and their families from one another, but they are insufficient really, so the nurses asked all of the men to leave periodically. The three other woman with us are all undergoing Cesarean sections. In my previous essay, I spoke about the rise in surgical births across China, and this rise was evident in the Old Building: more than 70% of the women here choose c-sections. I overheard one doctor arguing with a woman about it later in the day, but she lost the argument; the woman chose a c-section due to fear of pain and the doctor was forced to acquiesce. I wondered to myself how Sichuan’s new regulation (described here) will affect arguments such as these.

At 11am, Xiao Bai was taken to the delivery room, which is on the 8th floor. Families crowded outside of the actual delivery room, fidgeting in a room with no windows, hard plastics benches and a shrill little nurse in pink guarding the gates against all comers.  Family members are not allowed to be there while the mama gives birth. It is understandable in China, where hundreds of people would crowd the rooms, but it was all so alien and clinical and cold to me. It wasn’t the classic portrait of the men pacing outside while the women shoo them away from the birthing room — that i could handle — it was a factory where customers are prohibited from seeing their product on the assembly line. But all can be endured and we endured by watching my friend’s little daughter dance round the room, chewing on burritos and joking with the pink nurse ’till she couldn’t help but smile.

In the birthing room, according to an eyewitness report from Xiao Bai, the mamas are all in one room and are able to look at each other, while a group of nurses scurry from one to the next encouraging, cajoling and scolding. One of the women, in between body-shuddering convulsions, leaned over and whispered to Xiao Bai:

“Don’t I know you from ChengduMama Net?”

A New Life

At 2:29 pm on Monday February 8, 2010, a soul entered this plane of existence and I am his Guardian. I wasn’t able to lay eyes on him until roughly two hours later, but when I did I saw the wild chaos of his life at that moment and my first reaction was to lean in close and whisper his name, tell him I was there and smile down at him.

The nurses would not leave us alone for the first few hours after his birth. They are convinced that a baby must be fed — with milk powder if necessary — immediately after birth. This does not agree with the vast majority of conventional wisdom outside of China, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone. They worry about low blood sugar levels, because a baby born here had that condition and in order to fend off any possible lawsuits or penalties, the hospital harasses families like ours to feed the kid right away. In the end, they resorted primarily to the argument that “We Chinese have ‘different bodies’ than you foreigners.” This argument actually means “we Chinese are not as strong as you foreigners” and therefore Chinese (or half-Chinese) babies need to be fed milk powder right away to compensate for the mothers lack of breast milk. And because of their inherently “weaker bodies”.

Actually, a baby does not need to eat too much for the first few days and mother’s milk usually takes a few days to start flowing. During the period between birth and ravenous hunger, the mother produces a very powerful concoction called “Liquid Gold” by some. In the first few days, liquid gold suffices. In China, they will try and force you to feed the baby right away.

I fought them off for hours, telling them that they should just make sure everything is in working order and leave the rest to us. It went on until late at night, when we finally won the argument once and for all and they left us alone. Right then, when the nurse walked away with feathers sticking out of her little uniform, I looked down at my son and he smiled for the first time. It was then I realized that the truth was right in front of me, looking up through blurry eyes, and all this nonsense with the nurses was something to chuckle about. So we chuckled.

Afterwards, a new doctor showed up and she was excellent and extremely professional. She understood why we were against stuffing the newborn with milk powder on his first day and was able to allay our fears about mother’s milk and the baby’s overall health in the first few days. She said, basically, that each baby was different and each mother as well — when a baby wants to eat and when a mother produces milk depends on too many variables for science to come up with one answer. So, for her (and also for us) it was paramount that we relax and get to know our baby. Friends stopped by at just the right time to help with wet swaddling, feeding Xiao Bai and carrying our stuff to the new single room. In the afternoon of the second day a doctor sidled up to our bed and whispered that we had a single room in the new building and that we should prepare for a move. She glanced secretively around the room after she told us, made sure no one had heard her give us this information, then glided out.

The room I am in now, our single room, has its own bathroom and shower, a microwave, refrigerator, bed-side table for eating, a bed for me and a couple closets for storing stuff. There is also a TV and a large window overlooking the doctors’ dorms, which are fronted by a garden of Plum Blossom trees. Eddie Bo’s “From This Day On” just left the airwaves and my son is suckling at my woman’s breast. The boy is almost a day and a half old and all I can see are dreams of days and nights ablaze with this new life and the many ways I will guide, nurture and eventually watch him grow.

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About Sascha

Sascha Matuszak is a writer and commentator on domestic and international culture and politics. After living in Chengdu on and off for twelve years, he now lives in Minneapolis.

28 Responses to “Giving Birth in Chengdu: A New Life”

  1. Congratulations! And way to stick to your guns about the ‘liquid gold’ (that’s also what they called it in the Canadian neonatal intensive care unit where our daughter lived for her first month).

    Mother’s milk is best of course, but if you end up supplementing with formula, there’s a discussion here about safer alternatives (at comparable prices) to the stuff sold domestically in China.

    • Thanks for the hook up, the past two days he has been eating like a beast and we are looking at some milk powder to supplement cuz the boy is draining my lady and growling for more. So far so good, mother’s milk has sufficed, but i think if you do your research, milk powder is nothing to be afraid of. Nice site, Joel!

  2. Yeah, Sasch! Proud of you!

  3. The biggest surprise in the begining of 2010 !

    that little baby is so cute~felt great to hold it~

    I would love to be his 干妈!

  4. Congrats buddy! I cried just a little bit reading your account… just don’t tell the people on the other thread.

  5. real men cry. you can be his ganma Lynx, all good. Thnx peeps.

  6. Hey, Feb 8th is Monday, NOT Sunday!

  7. A SON!! ( by the WHO )

    CONGRATULATION!!!!

  8. Fantastic Sascha — and beautifully written. Congratulations.

  9. Congratulations! What a story, with the greatest outcome possible, the life of your beautiful son.

    It saddens me to read that babies are stuffed with formula the moment they are born. That leaves little chance for breastfeeding to succeed. It also saddens me to read that so many women choose to get a c-section.

    What a great way to start the Year of the Tiger.

    • yeah it is rough to see these women so lacking in confidence and a system that perpetuates it … but for real, i am glad we stuck it out and our boy is loving his mama’s milk … next essay will be about the old traditions that still survive … stay tuned.

  10. Again congrats… it was a good way to bring in the new year and I’m happy the game of risk turned out the way it did. Like I said before, the tones of genius echo the sentiments of the sparks of momentum surrounding. So, eventhough those sixes were hard to find, eventually the game rolled through the night in a pleasant non-confrontational enjoyment of miniature false warcraft. May this be a description of lil Ds ways of finding his own genius and crafting poise in this world, to absorb enough inspiration to give others the strength needed in their darkest times.

    And to the Chinese women that might be thinking they can’t… just remember you were already built to “can” and don’t let a pent-up nurse who’s just achin to get back to her qq conversation tell you otherwise. Let this be an example. Read up, ask friends questions and the state of mind you harvest will provide the confidence and sincerity to accomplish most of what you desire.

  11. Sascha, congratulations to your wife for being so strong willed! Congratulations to your child for receiving the best nourishment possible, and to YOU for supporting them. People like you make a difference and breaks the perpetuation you mention.

    I caused a lot of puzzlement in China for the simple fact that I was breastfeeding an almost 11 month old child. My mother in law (Chinese) did mention that it was probably because I was not Chinese that it was possible for me to b/f for “so long”. I told her that almost nobody breastfeeds in my country either, and that it has nothing to do with races, but it was simple supply&demand.

    Anyway, having an authority figure (a doctor, a nurse) imply that your newborn needs formula is the worst way to start for a woman who has just given birth! I wonder if they are really so misinformed about breastfeeding or if they do it on purpose… We all know that breast milk costs nothing and moves very little money.

    I’m sorry I write so much, congratulations again.

  12. thank you too for your comments Aorijia! i think i did make a lil difference — some of the nurses confided in me that they didn;t like the things were going (c-sections and powder) and there was a doctor that I spoke to for a while (i mention her in th story) and she expressed dismay as well.

    The next generation of women should be a bit better .. i hope … but it is depressing to see the unnatural ooze out over everything …

  13. Congratulations again & again! I was surprised to hear about the anti-breastfeeding nurses. Good for you both for standing strong. That early gold, or colostrum, is rich in nutrients, antibodies, and is a natural laxative to help the baby’s body release all that meconium (that black, tarry looking poop). The baby needs nothing but its mother’s colostrum & milk. Mom & baby have their own learning curve and sometimes there can be a real “ouch” period. But after two weeks or so, that’s usually okay.

    I’m so happy for you both. I know you will take care of your family. Take care of you, too.

  14. yeah we are mid-way through the breastfeeding learning curve, looks like everything is going well. he eats about once every 1 to 11/2 hours sometimes 2 hrs …. and so far his poo is getting nice and yellow 😉 thanks for all the love, right back atcha Queen, hope all is well with you and the Peer Clan out in the islands, holla!

  15. Congratulations!

  16. Congratulations to you! So interesting about the deep need to give babies milk powder–the same thing happened to us here in the US. My husband fought with the staff for hours. Glad you won the argument, enjoy your new baby!

    • That’s strange, what happened in the US hospital? I wonder what the deal is with this whole milk powder/c-section thing … its all over the place …

  17. Hi:

    I have started a Forum Post for the whole raising a kid topic, feel free to check it out and ask a question or give an answer or post pics 😉

    http://www.chengduliving.com/forum

  18. At least in China the parents are not so crazy like the Americans who would circumcise their sons at birth.

    • Ha, funny you bring this up now, when this just came out a couple days ago:

      “Revising its policy on circumcision for the first time in 13 years, the American Academy of Pediatrics now says that the preventative health benefits of infant circumcision clearly outweigh the risks.”
      http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/27/health/aap-circumcision-recommendation/index.html

      (For the record, I don’t care either way about circumcision.)

      Look out everyone! An intactivist! 🙂 I bet Sascha would *love* it if this thread turned into a circumcision debate.

    • yeah we thought about it for a while and both my boys are NOT circumcised. But guess what, much mo’ problems. Gotta keep the dingus free of funk, the skin isn’t always built to accomodate their massive toddler manhoods so there is some splitting and stuff. i’m just being real. it probably adds protection and maybe sensitivity, but according to Joel’s link:

      “an AAP task force formed in 2007 examined scientific studies conducted between 1995 through 2010 to evaluate if a revision was needed. The new, stronger language is a result of emerging evidence that found links between circumcision and decreased risk of urinary tract infections, some kinds of cancer, HPV, HIV, and other sexually transmitted diseases.”

      so. i may have put my boys at risk for not cutting their little wee wees But the actual results show small differences. And basically, safe sex and not being a dipshit can protect you much more from STDs and such than a tiny lil flap of skin …

  19. Don’t worry, Sascha. They’ll be way more comfortable running through the woods naked that way.

  20. Dear Sascha, congrats! I’m a child health nurse on my way to Chengdu in a few weeks to visit my daughter. I am Australian and see a lot of expat Chinese mums. One visiting grandmother to Sydney told me she had never met a mother in her 30 years of paediatric practice in China that had exclusively breastfed their baby, that the normal practice was to “mix” feed. She was so proud of her daughter breastfeeding on demand. I’m hoping her experience helped her professional practice.

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